It's Almost The Big Day!! SQUEEEEEELLLL!!!! :o)

Hi!!!!!

OMG!!! I'm sooooo excited!!!!!!!!!  It's just 5 more days until surgery!!  SQUEEEEEELLLLL!!!! :o)

My husband and I fly down this Friday for my pre-op consult with Dr Ces Colagrande and then I have my boobies done after the weekend.  YAY!!!  Finally I won't have empty and floppy B cups after breast feeding my three beautiful kids and hopefully have a nice natural looking pair of D or DD's!  Ahhhhhh!!!!  SO excited!!!!!!! :o)

I have to say, I almost choked when Dr Ces told me I would probably need 425cc implants because it sounds huge!!  But last night I did the rice thing (yes I actually did that! Hahahahaha!!!!!) and measured out 425ml of rice for each breast in a measuring jug and put it in a freezer bag and inside my bra. I squished them around until they looked like a proper breast shape and walked around with them in for about half an hour.  Doing that gave me an idea of size and it looks PERFECT for my body shape.  I'm SO happy!!! :o)

I have been through so many emotions leading up to this. I've decided to call them my 'phases' leading up to my breast augmentation. Haha!!

First phase was once it was all booked in and the excitement subsided a bit...  This first phase was GUILT!!  Just the fact that it is going to cost so much (all up we are looking at about $16000, this is the surgery itself, the accommodation for 8 nights, flights, hire car and food etc, it all adds up).  Although we are in a time in our lives where we can afford it (I definitely wouldn't do it if it were going to send us backwards financially or make us struggle to make ends meet afterwards, that would be purely selfish), I still feel bad.  I think to myself that the cost is enough to buy a small car, and with three kids I think to myself that there is probably a thousand other things that we 'should' be spending the money on.  I just felt guilty and selfish.  BUT... I have wanted this done since I was 15 years old, and after breastfeeding each of my kids, my little B cup boobies just got floppier and emptier, and more out of shape. This isn't something that I've suddenly decided recently "oh I think I want boobs", I have wanted them forever, so I have to remember that, and the fact that I have waited so long until the time was right in our lives.  My husband is okay with it too even though it's something he doesn't think I need because he loves me the way I am (very sweet but I guarantee he'll take that back afterward, surely right?  ;o)  Haha!!)

Next phase was DOUBT.  What if something goes wrong?  What if I look ridiculous?  Do I really need them?  What if I regret it??  What if they're too big and really fake looking and obvious??  LOL!!!

Then I got over all that and felt nothing but EXCITEMENT!!!  But suddenly I started thinking "OMG I'm not toned up, I'm flabby and haven't been to the gym in years.  My weight is okay  but I'm so flabby!!  So how can I have great boobs and a flabby body??  They won't suit me!!"  Hahahahahaha!!!!  Seriously so many emotions!!

(By the way I know I sound like a CRAZY CRAZY person as I write all this, LOL!!!)

Anyway, that phase passed and I went into the next phase of worrying about the general anaesthetic again.  I guess overall, this is the thing that I am nervous about the most.  I've never been knocked out before and I am feeling scared, like what if I'm one of those cases who never wake up??  What if I wake up during the surgery and I can't move or speak but I can FEEL what they are doing?  Eek!!  Okay, so MAYBE I watch too many shows like Grey's Anatomy ;o)  Hahaha!!!  But after talking to the surgeon (Dr Ces) and the lovely nurse from the day hospital I'm having it done at, I feel more at ease.  Still nervous but feeling okay :o)

So...  WOW!!!  My surgery is literally days away.  DAYS!!!!  I think I needed to write this post so that I could get all my feelings down and out of my system.  Honestly, right now... I am soooo excited, but at the same time it feels surreal.  I've wanted it for so long and I can't believe my dream is coming true!  (I seriously LOVE my husband for letting me do this! Hahaha!!!)  Maybe it hasn't fully hit me yet? Lol... Because it just feels like a dream right now... I'm finally doing it!!!!  :o)

Anyway, I just felt like writing down my excitement and range of feelings I've had leading up to this.

I'll wrote again after my pre-op consult with Dr Ces on Friday!  SQUEEEELLLL!!!!! :o)

Lots of love
Sil xoxo