Feelings, Feelings, Feelings!!!!!

Hi!!

Feelings!!!  Eeeep!! :o}

I have my breasts done on Monday!!  Just days away!!!!!!! :o)  I am sooooo excited right now but very nervous!  I am anxious about the general anaesthesia because I have never been knocked out before and I'm not sure exactly what to expect or how I'll feel afterward, even though I have watched countless breast augmentation video diaries on You Tube, lol...  I think the nerves are starting to build up on me now!!!  I'm also having the 'what if they're too big/too small?" debate in my head, but from what I've read and chatted about with other girls who've had their breasts done, they all had the same feelings :o)

I'm also starting to feel a bit of the guilts about leaving my kids for 8 days while my hubby and I fly to the Gold Coast for it.  My youngest princess is with me 24 hours a day 7 days a week while my older 2 girls go to school, and I can't imagine not being able to pick her up for 6 weeks!  It will be hard not too.  It really hit me today how much I'm going to miss them, I even teared up a little when I cuddled one of my daughters today, I'm such a sook!  Lol..  It is only 8 days that my hubby and I will be away from my kids but I am never away from them other than school so I'm feeling a little sad because I'll miss them so much!!  They will be staying at my husband's mother and step-father's house while we are down there.  The girls are SO excited to stay at Nanna and Grandad's, they always get spoilt there and have a wonderful time, so it's great that they are looking forward to it so much, but I'll be sad!!  Haha!! :o)

I have so many thoughts and feelings whirling through my head and have for the past 5 weeks since I booked it in.  Right now I'm thinking about "what am I hoping for afterwards?  After it is all done?"  Well... I have lived in super padded bras with bra inserts and chicken fillets since a teenager (those "Eye-Catcher" brand bras that Target have, have been my favourite!  I have one in every kind, LOL!!!).  I've been so good at padding my bras that some people who I have told about getting my breasts done have said to me "but you've got great sized boobs?"  Little do they know how much in that bra is not actual boob!!  Hahaha!!!

I guess I can't wait to be able to pick any bra off the rack and feel confident about it.  Usually I have to walk around touching the insides of every bra on the racks to make sure they have ultimate padding, and if they don't I have to keep on searching.  I can't wait to ACTUALLY wear a bikini top!!  Something I avoid big time because I can't put chicken fillets into a little tiny bikini top (the chicken fillet might fall out and that would be embarrassing! Lol...!!!), I have worn the most padded togs I can find and STILL put chicken fillets in them!  Overall though, I can't wait to finally feel like I have the body of a woman!  I have always felt like I have the body of a 12 year old, it's just the way I have always felt, so I can't wait to have the curves that a woman should have and feel much more confident about the way I look.  I'm looking forward to being able to wear bras without padding, wear pretty backless dresses and things like that just because I can, and feel womanly.  This is definitely a dream come true for me!! :o)

So all in all, although I will miss my girls, I really can't wait for this very special moment in my life, I'm so happy!! :o)

Love Sil xoxo